he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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