There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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