He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
jump out the window naked night went bad
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
