I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize
