sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Randomize
