So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
