I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Randomize
