i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Randomize
