We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
The feeling are messing with the penis
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
