I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
