oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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