They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I party with great urgency now.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
