I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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