plz talk dirty to me
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
