I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
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