Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
