If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Randomize
