I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
You were trust falling into bushes
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
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