oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
