I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
