That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize