due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Randomize
