Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
