On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
My vagina is very pro this idea
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
