I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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