This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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