I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
