Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
