Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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