oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize