so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
Randomize
