if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
