Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I need to sanitize my soul.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Randomize
