"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
