Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
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