he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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