I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
