Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
