bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
