think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Randomize
