Can i not drive my cunt home
Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
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