I'm gonna have a badass scar
OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
