Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry hahathisfunny hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(925): View more from California

"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.

Fav 23 1805 1617
share tweet
(732): View more from New Jersey

ice luge is my downfall...

(1-732): View more from New Jersey

...u mean upfall.

Fav 11 2383 713
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(605): View more from South Dakota

The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops

Fav 10 4059 1003
share tweet
(228): View more from Mississippi

Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.

Fav 4 2825 1154
share tweet
(516): View more from New York

Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.

Fav 26 9660 1374
share tweet
(305): View more from Florida

i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.

Fav 4 823 1263
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(248): View more from Michigan

The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk

Fav 4 1054 1209
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(585): View more from New York

March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.

Fav 1 236 118
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(630): View more from Illinois

So this is what bad decisions tastes like...

Fav 2 37 12
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT