Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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