Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
