how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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