I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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