everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
We smell like vodka and hangover
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
