I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
