sarcasm needs its own font
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Randomize
