I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
ttyl tear gas
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Randomize
