Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize