It's like a parade of train wrecks.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
I have post one night stand depression
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
