Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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