we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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