Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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