There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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