What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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