I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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