i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
