But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
My ATM looks so different sober.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Randomize
