help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Randomize