get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I love you. Go after that dick
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
