i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
