he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
