how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
