summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
