who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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