Are we in a gay sports bar?
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
I came so hard my ears popped.
Randomize
