remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Randomize
