So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
