i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Randomize
