hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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