My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
